Turns out, according to a University of Arizona survey, women do not really talk significantly more than men; they just use different words, and even when they use the same words, they mean something else entirely.
Matthias R. Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, led the research and came up with the finding, which was published Friday in the scientific journal named, of all things, Science.
The team placed microphones on 396 students and analyzed their conversations.
“Survey says!” Alex cried out
Women, use 16,215 words, outscoring men by a mere 546 words. “Big woof,” you say?
But those 546 words are significant. For instance:
Accessorize: Accessorizing takes longer and costs the man more than merely wearing a nice suit.
Body image: Women worry about this a lot, largely because so do men (worry about women’s).
Size zero: Men are not supposed to know how a Size 8 compares with anything masculine; just know it’s bigger than Size 6 and lots bigger than Size 0, and when it comes to women’s clothing sizes, Bigger is Not Better. (See Body Image.)
Absolutely beautiful: How a woman describes another woman who clearly is not. (See Body Image.)
Attractive: How a woman describes another woman who clearly is Absolutely Beautiful. (See Body Image.)
Airbrushing: A term used by women whose pictures are not being published to describe the efforts of magazine editors on women whose pictures are. (See Body Image.)
Shopping: Spending hours in mall clothing store dressing rooms trying on clothing that doesn’t “look right.” (See Body Image).
It looks fine: What a woman does not want to hear, especially while shopping.
Emotional intelligence: Some of this would keep a man from saying, “It looks fine.”
Highlight: What women do to their hair, and what they want men to do to their hunting stories.
Superwoman: A woman who runs a business, volunteers on the local arts council, and always is on time, though barely, to soccer practice.
Flexible working hours: What a woman needs to become a Superwoman.
Thingamajig: Any gizmo that has quit working. Part of being Superwoman is knowing who to call to fix it.
What were you thinking?: Men have no good response to this one, since typically it implies the answer: You obviously were not thinking at all.
Why did you do that?: Usually follows “What were you thinking?”
I don’t care: Used in place of, or later followed by, “What were you thinking;” as in he suggests buying a new motorcycle and she says “I don’t care.”
You don’t need to buy me anything for (my birthday, Christmas, anniversary of first date): A statement made by women meaning you also don’t have to sleep indoors this winter. (See also I Don’t Care.)
My wife was visiting her favorite aunt last week in Michigan, and she sent a text message saying Aunt Shoo wanted to know whether I was happily married.
Men everywhere will understand my reply:
“I believe so, I’ll have to ask my wife.”
© 2007 To add to this list, or to help with a list of men’s definitions, contact John Messeder at jmesseder@comcast.net
